


I Know I Seem Shaky, These Hands Are Not Fit for Holding

by emptymasks



Series: When You Kiss Me, I Am Happy Enough to Die [2]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, and i want to be careful, tagged m because alfie says one line about sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 20:03:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20533799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emptymasks/pseuds/emptymasks
Summary: Alfie was awoken by something hitting him in the arm.“What the fuck?” He voice was ragged. He was about to give Tommy a playful yell about moving around, but when he looked over he saw Tommy shaking, his body curling in on itself as if it wanted to turn itself inside out.“Ah shit, Tommy.”





	I Know I Seem Shaky, These Hands Are Not Fit for Holding

**Author's Note:**

> title is from 'hiding' by florence and the machine

Alfie was awoken by something hitting him in the arm.

“What the fuck?” He voice was ragged. He was about to give Tommy a playful yell about moving around, but when he looked over he saw Tommy shaking, his body curling in on itself as if it wanted to turn itself inside out.

“Ah shit, Tommy.”

He hovered his hand over Tommy’s arm, almost afraid to touch him. There was a layer of sweat coating Tommy’s skin and matting his hair to the pillow. He’d never seen Tommy shed a single tear before, and now there were damp spots on the pillow. He let his fingertips graze Tommy as lightly and gently as he could and Tommy jolted. Alfie looked up and Tommy's eyes were half-open and the more they seemed to focus the more it seemed like Tommy was ready to jump out of the fucking bed and dive out through the window.

So Alfie gripped his arm.

That seemed to really wake Tommy up to his senses and he tried to scramble back, about to drop himself off the bed, but Alfie pushed his arm down against the bed and pinned him there.

“Calm down, mate. You’re alright, don’t you fucking think about running off in this state, yeah? Just fucking breathe Tommy, yeah. You’re alright,” Alfie saw Tommy’s eyes finally focus and that seemed to make him want to curl into himself more.

Alfie rolled back onto his side and pulled Tommy with him, a hand moving up to start wiping at his tears.

“That the war that’s fucked up your sleeping, or our line of work?” Alfie asked.

Tommy opened and closed his mouth, a little shocked, as if he expected Alfie to force him back to sleep or kick him out of the bed.

“The war…” Tommy finally said. “It’s always the fucking war and the fucking shovels. Being buried alive in that fucking tunnel, trying to claw our way out while the bombs just keep-”

He choked on his own voice and tears started to work their way back out and Alfie pulled him closer against his chest, one arm going around Tommy’s waist and pressing against his back, the other going up and through his hair.

Tommy’s skin was burning hot against Alfie’s and he was shaking so violently Alfie just wanted to pin him to the bed and anchor him down.

“Sorry,” Tommy choked out. “I didn’t want you to see… didn’t want to stay because…”

“Ssh, it’s alright pet,” Alfie stroked his hands along Tommy’s spine and through his hair. “So these… they happen often?”

“Most nights.”

Alfie was a fucking idiot. All the times he’d yelled and grunted at Tommy as he’d left his bed, refusing to stay for the night. He’d been too busy pretending not to care he hadn’t really thought to press on anything. He’d never asked Tommy to stay because he assumed Tommy wasn’t staying because he was just here to unwind and move on as Alfie’s heart got too fucking attached.

“Well you can fucking think again if I’m letting you leave just to fucking cry yourself to sleep. You can stay right fucking here after I’ve fucked you through this mattress and you’re going to put up with me fucking being here, alright?”

Tommy’s shaking had almost completely subsided and he released a shaking breath into Alfie’s throat.

“That is alright, love, init?” Alfie’s voice had softened and dammit he’d been trying to avoid that. He watched as Tommy’s clever fucking brain overthought everything.

“Yeah,” Tommy said and Alfie felt Tommy’s body relax into his. “Yeah, that would be alright.”

**Author's Note:**

> ah i wrote this last week and forgot to post it. i'm writing nsfw tommy x alfie things on my nsfw psued crowdedmasks, which i've also put in this same series


End file.
